
The many faces of Clinton Portis (clockwise from right to left): Sheriff Gonna Getcha, Southeast Jerome, Dr. I Don’t Know and Dollah Bill. What an incredible human being.
Unfortunately, Music Video Monday has to be postoponed today as I’m leaving UVA immediately after classes end to get back to DC in time to make it to tonight’s Monday Night Football opener. You see, yesterday was good and all (both the Cowboys and Giants went down), but for me the NFL season doesn’t truly begin until tonight when Clinton Portis (all 93.9% of him) and my Washington Redskins take on the Vikings tonight at FedEx Field in DC. Despite a poor-ass preseason performance, the Threatening Trio (lamest nickname ever?) - comprised of Portis, Santana Moss, and the amazing Chris Cooley - returns supported by an impressive cast of newcomers (Brandon Lloyd, Antwaan Randle El, T.J. Duckett, et. al), set to build on last year’s postseason success.
Why should non-Skins fans care? Because Clinton Portis just might be the greatest human being in America. As can be
seen above, Portis would show up for his weekly interviews (which would be subsequently broadcast on Redskins.com) last season fully costumed as one of his consistently-evolving alter-egos. My personal favorite character was Southeast Jerome (bottom right, above), but after his initial mid-season appearance we learned of his untimely and tragic death. Fortunately though, in Portis’ we got to check back in with SE Jerome late in the season when Portis came dressed as the angel of Southeast Jerome “in heaven with friends”. In his best masquerade yet, the angel of Southeast Jerome brought along some of his friends:
- Rock Cartwright as “Luscious”
- Robert Royal as “Pretty Teeth”
- Ryan Clark as “Pied Piper Piccalo”
- Nehemiah [”It’s Already Been”] Broughton as “Biggie Short”
- Ladell Betts as “Sweet Feet Jenkins”
- and the best ever: Chris Cooley as “Johnny White Guy”
Clearly, that list alone is enough of a reason to root for the Redskins to win the Superbowl. Portis’ stunts have been well-documented over at Deadspin.com, where they have an entire archive of Portis’ antics, they’ve even inducted him into the Deadspin Hall of Fame with a fancy plaque (visible above, at right) and everything.

Now that that’s out of my system, here are some actual music referrals and downloadable goods. First of all, check out this band, Optimist Club. Though I’ve not gotten a chance to familiarize myself with their material yet (Drowned In Sound describes their music as “mercilessly shredded guitars and acerbically intelligent vocals”), how much do these guys look exactly like Bloc Party only with a goofier, more cartoony version of Kele? It’s ridiculous. They’ve gotta be worth checking out for that reason alone, hit up their MySpace for tracks.
Next, make sure to get over to GvB and grab that new Sufjan track, “Sister Winter”, off of his upcoming Songs For Christmas album. To be honest, I’m really not trying to listen to Christmas songs in September, but I gave this song one listen and it’s just so good. The way it plods along for the first half before building up into that incredible crescendo at the end and just embodies the feeling of the perfect Christmas song? Dude is unbelievable.
Finally, here’s the freshest mash-up I’ve heard in a minute, courtesy of some guy on OiNK named Sunderland, whose taken the “Oh Mandy” and transplanted that discoteque-worthy “Supermassive Black Hole” beat on it, taking both tracks to new levels off awesomeness. The vocals even work pretty well, though there are moments when I wish this were kept as a Supermassive Remix of “Oh Mandy”, as the main attraction here is less the interaction of the vocals of the two tracks, but the way the “Supermassive” beat works so surprisingly-well with The Spinto Band’s original track.
MP3: “Supermassive Mandy” - The Spinto Band vs. Muse
I’ll be sure to make up for the lack of Music Video Monday with video content sprinkled throughout my posts for the rest of the week, but for now there are more important issues - namely the Redskins dominance over the rest of the NFL - at hand.