She’s In Control ///////////////////////// Volume 1
Greetings, citizens of the Blogosphere (errr… readers)!
I’m Rya (21/F/NYC… that’s how you kids talk, right?), Derek’s friend, classmate, and former co-intern at Vice. Every week, I will grace you with a new edition of Rya’s Romantic Review (Ed’s note: we are definitely not calling this that) where I use this little cyber soapbox to talk about music I (wait for it…) love! Derek asked me to write this column because I really like music, but my taste tends to diverge from Derek’s a good bit at times. If I had to put my finger on my favorite music genre… well, I couldn’t, because that’d be lame. So, I really hope you like this or else it’s back to the streets for me.
I’ve just received a radio-rip of Interpol’s new single, “The Heinrich Maneuver.” Please take this with a grain of salt as I know I’m physically and emotionally incapable of creating music any better. However, I feel the same way about this song as I do for orange juice: if it’s in my fridge, I’ll take some, but if it’s not, I’m not going to be all that disappointed.
The thing is, I really like Interpol. Back when I was young and hip and had my ear to the ground, I purchased Turn On The Bright Lights the day it came out. Enjoyable story: on the day of my senior prom, I happened to see none other than Daniel Kessler on the street (in typical, all-black, fancy Interpol garb, mind you), and I asked him to be my arm candy for the evening’s festivities. He said no, but you can’t hold a grudge forever. Hold on, let me pick up that name I just dropped… anyway, the point is I’ve waited long enough for this album and I don’t really hear anything new.
A friend once sent me this link that played two Nickelback songs at the same time and they turned out to have the SAME fucking song structure but different (beautiful, duh) lyrics and chords. While “The Heinrich Maneuver” isn’t a carbon-copy of the rest of their repertoire, it comes pretty close (what’s up, “Slow Hands”?). I guess my verdict is that it’s pretty harmless; I can already see it being played on shows that my fellow females might congregate to watch in the common room of a dorm - which is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just that unlike such gems as “The Specialist” and “Roland” where I have to stop whatever I’m doing when they’re being played, “The Heimlich Maneuver” is background music. To be fair, the vocal harmonies are a pleasure and a joy to listen to, but there’s not much else here. I’ll keep you posted if the rest of this song ever grows on me.
MP3: “The Heinrich Maneuver” (Radio Rip) - Interpol
My first favorite album of all time was Odelay by Beck and I listened to nothing but that album for over a year. It got to the point where I listened to it so much that I wore it out and had to spend my allowance to go to the Sam Goody on 61st and 3rd (now inhabited by Dylan’s Candy Bar) to get another copy (on cassette, of course). If I had a penny for every time I listened to this during my formative years I’d be too busy diving into my pool full of Cristal wearing a bikini made of unicorn hair and diamonds to write this. That entire album spoke to me, but “The New Pollution” was something else. I brought that song in as my “show and tell” song in sixth grade. My printer was broken so I had to handwrite the lyrics, and this was before song lyrics were online, so I thought I knew the words by heart, but I wasn’t positive so the whole thing was riddled with question marks. But the point is, when I played that song in class, everyone thought I was the biggest loser ever because, you know, it wasn’t Ace of Bass or whatever sixth graders were listening to at the time. But Beck and “The New Pollution” taught me that it was okay not to care if people thought I was totally lame for listening to something that wasn’t force fed to me on z100. In a lot of ways, I was alone in my own, prepubescent new pollution, and I knew I’d turn out just fine. How deep, I know.
MP3: “The New Pollution” - Beck
Up until The Information, I would’ve considered myself a Beck Superfan, and I’m a little too well-versed in his catalogue. “Minus” is one of my favorite songs ever because, well, it gets me really pumped. In retrospect, I don’t know how my lanky body never suffered from any form of whiplash when I’d head bang to this track all by my lonesome at the ripe age of 10.
MP3: “Minus” - Beck
Beck sampled my beloved Beastie Boys’ drum track from “So Watcha Want?” in “E-Pro” off his 2005 release, Guero. Obviously, a mash-up had to be made, and this one’s actually prett-ay, prett-ay, great.
MP3: “So Whatcha E-Pro?” - DJ Erb (Beastie Boys vs Beck)
What would a romantic review be without a love letter? I harbor crushes on many a musician, but Chromeo’s Dave 1 ranks very high on my list of Unattainable Love Interests. I thought I could best express my adoration for their new track, “Fancy Footwork,” in an open letter to the man himself.
Dear Dave 1,
I remember the time you came into the Vice office and I had to leave to get an iced beverage not only because your presence added 100,000 degrees (Celsius!) to the already scorching room, but because I knew I’d do something extremely embarrassing if I stayed within the same confines. It’s not just your good looks, your delicate mustache, your candidacy for a PhD, and the fact that you’re a Semite that I’m extremely attracted to you.
You’re also very talented.
It goes without saying that She’s In Control was an extremely enjoyable album - a pleasure and a joy to listen to. When my friend, Webmaster Derek Davies, sent the Fancy Footwork EP my way, the songs were, in a word, tasteful. I was especially taken however, by the eponymous track (the original, classic version).
MP3: “Fancy Footwork” - Chromeo
There’s really nothing wrong with this track – it’s a real rug-cutter, you know? I need to show off my fancy footwork when this song blares through my iHome (the world’s shittiest joke of electronic equipment ever… but I digress). I love your slight accent. At least I think you’ve got an accent, the point is your diction is way sexy - especially that moment at 1:59 when you casually go “eyyy!”… melt my heart a little more, why don’t you? I extra love that beat, those synths, and I know I just spoke volumes about the angelic timbre that is your voice, but I could really enjoy an instrumental version of this song. I’d play it at all my cocktail and tea parties (I’m extremely sophisticated, Dave 1… or do you prefer Mr. Macklovitch?). I no longer work at the magazine that supports your record label, but I do pray that our paths cross sometime in the not-so-distant future. In all likelihood, it will be when I pay to be in your company to hear this song live.
Love (or should I say… amour),
Rya
Speaking of Chromeo, fancy footwork and rug-cutting in general, my friend Nick made this and well, I suppose it speaks for itself.
That’s enough out of me for now. I really hope you enjoyed our time together because I have a lot more to talk about, and I have all the time in the world. Please leave me feedback, but don’t be a dick, okay?