Good Weather For Airstrikes

Editor’s Note: Rya finished this like two weeks ago, I’m just a huge piece of shit and took forever to get around to getting all the links sorted out and posting it. Also, I feel the need to point out that Naughty are some of the greatest musicians of our time. Oh and lastly, we don’t need to talk about that whole Redskins thing. At all. Thanks in advance.

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It’s been for-EV-er, and despite my inactivity, don’t think I didn’t miss you.

A lot of fun and interesting things happened in these past 365 days. A lot more than (dare I say it…) music. Derek and I agreed that it would be most refreshing for me to recount more than sonic stuff for my Year In Review post (a post that’s super comprehensive, because I put it off until the last few days of the year). Because of the upcoming years’ rash of cancelled awards ceremonies, I will offer nominees and winners in each category. Enjoy it?

BEST CONCERT OF 2007
Sonic Youth @ McCarren Pool - July 28
Beastie Boys @ Central Park - August 8
Wilco @ Warsaw - June 26
Queens Of The Stone Age @ Madison Square Garden Theater - October 13
Clinic w/ Holy Fuck @ Gramercy Theater - March 9

And the winner is…
BEASTIE BOYS IN CENTRAL PARK!

MP3: “The Sprawl” - Sonic Youth [zShare Link]
This was my favorite song of the night. It has a really fun and catchy chorus, and I couldn’t physically deal with how cool Kim Gordon looked when she played it. Like, my jealousy morphed into sadness, because she’s so much better at everything than me.

MP3: “Spiders (Kidsmoke)” - Wilco [zShare Link]
Big fucking deal, I love Wilco. Nels Cline wielded his axe so hard during this song, that by the end of it, everyone was drenched in HIS sweat. This song is really easy to passively listen to, but not when it’s live and pretty much sprayed all over you (gross).

MP3: “Sky Is Fallin’” - Queens Of The Stone Age [zShare Link]
When my friends and I got drinks before the show I declared, “If they play ‘Sky Is Fallin’ I will buy the entire audience a round.” It’s long been a favorite, and even though I’d seen them a zillion (okay, four) times prior, I’ve never heard it live. It was so worth the wait, and I didn’t buy a round for all 2499 other concertgoers.

MP3: “2/4″ - Clinic [zShare Link]
This was a helluva show. They played with Holy Fuck! Do you realize how much I love these two bands? Do you realize what my brain did when I found out they were playing TOGETHER? Anyway, Clinic was actually religious. They played this during the encore; it was really loud and made me a little dizzy. Also: GREAT new venue.

MP3: “Time For Livin’” - Beastie Boys [zShare Link]
This is Mike D’s interpretation of a Sly and the Family Stone song. It was a really good opening number, because it got everyone really pumped (except the WASP couple in front of my friend and I who ATE DINNER FROM A PICNIC BASKET DURING THE SHOW). A lot of you probably find these guys old and irrelevant, but well, I don’t. They put on the perfect live show - rife with between-song banter, Money Mark’s acrobatics, Calder mobiles, and impeccable tailoring. I think it’s worth noting that for every other audience member, this show might as well have been “Rya Featuring the Beastie Boys” as I was… very vocal about knowing every word to every song.

WORST CONCERT OF THE YEAR
Patrick Watson @ Joe’s Pub - September 16

MP3: “Luscious Life” - Patrick Watson [zShare Link]
I’m sure there were shittier shows, but I had the privilege of seeing this guy. I read The Secret this year, so I know I’m not supposed to say negative stuff, but… well, everything about this man and his band gave me a case of the idiot shivers that lasted for DAYS. You’ll probably like “Luscious Life” if you’re one of those Garden State types.

BEST ALBUM OF THE YEAR
LCD Soundsystem, Sound of Silver
Les Savy Fav, Let’s Stay Friends
Chromeo, Fancy Footwork
Queens Of The Stone Age, Era Vulgaris
Holy Fuck, Holy Fuck
Clinic, Visitations

And the winner is…
ERA VULGARIS!

MP3: “New York, I Love You…” - LCD Soundsystem [zShare Link]
This song is a little insulting, but I like that it makes me angry. Having spent 19 of my 21 (and a half) years in Manhattan, I can understand James Murphy’s tired argument. I get it, NYC isn’t as fun as it used to be - but didn’t James Murphy choose to move here? It reminds me a little bit of my Persian relatives who love to hate America, but deep down know they would never want to live anywhere else.

MP3: “Slugs In The Shrubs” - Les Savy Fav [zShare Link]
I don’t think I ever told Derek how much I love this album; I thought it would tread on some weird, ass-kissing, fangirl territory. Let’s Stay Friends is really fun to listen to all the way through, which is among other things, convenient. This is my favorite song on the album. If I listen to it while I’m walking on the street, I feel like mowing over a tourist.

MP3: “Fancy Footwork” - Chromeo [zShare Link]
This will be the year Dave 1 and I will share a Shabbat dinner (yes, that’s what they call it these days). I love everything about this song, and I can safely admit that I have danced by myself to this song more than anything else this year. Most of you probably find Chromeo to be a bit gimmicky, but I don’t; they take their craft way too seriously. For a good time, fast forward to 1:59. Oh MY-fucking-LANTA, Dave 1’s “eyyyy” is… I can’t put it in words.

MP3: “Frenchy’s” - Holy Fuck [zShare Link]
Once “Lovely Allen” starts getting tired (and trust me, it’ll start getting a little too epic around the 9 squillionth listen), you’ll yearn to listen to discover what else these guys are capable of (hint: it sounds nothing like “Lovely Allen”). This track, like most of the Holy Fuck’s work, kind of sucks you in, and you’ll find it hard to do anything else but listen to it.

MP3: “The New Seeker” - Clinic [zShare Link]
This album came out on iTunes in 2006, but it came out in the FLESH in 2007 - for that sole reason it could be one of my favorite albums two years in a row. This is my favorite song on the album, for among other reasons, the fun ending.

MP3: “Run Pig Run” - Queens of the Stone Age [zShare Link]
When I learned that the new Queens’ album would be nearly void of all celebrity cameos, I had my doubts. Could I handle (with the exception of Julian Casablancas, their BFF Mark Lanegan, and Trent Reznor on a non-album track) nothing but Josh and Co? Why, yes, I can! QOTSA are one of my favorite bands ever, because they never fail to deliver a great product. They always make good on their promise of being loud, sexy, dark, and fun - whether or not they’re flanked with additional talents. They’ve also mastered the art of the mind-blowing final track; “Run Pig Run” is a great closer.

FAVORITE RE-ISSUE OF THE YEAR
The Traveling Wilburys, The Traveling Wilburys Collection
I was tempted to say Daydream Nation but… I’m more partial to Goo. Anyway, your dad probably has this record, and he probably played it in the car when you were little, and you probably bitched and whined and told him to shut it off. But now you’re a grown-up, and you’re over being rebellious, and you realize your dad’s pretty much always right. This is just a little more proof. I bought it on iTunes so I can’t post anything from it, so go do the prudent thing and buy it.

These are just some other songs I liked this year, in no particular order. Consider it a poorly-made mixtape for all of you, my internet lovers. I don’t think I have a favorite track, and I’m probably forgetting some songs - hope you don’t lose any sleep over that:

FAVORITE TRACKS OF THE YEAR
01. “Timebomb” - Beck [zShare Link]
02. “The Way I Are” - Timbaland [zShare Link]
03. “The Ghost Of You Lingers” - Spoon [zShare Link]
04. “Big Shit Poppin’ (Do It)” - TI [zShare Link]
05. “Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time” - Jarvis Cocker [zShare Link]
06. “Success” (ft. Nas) - Jay-Z [zShare Link]
07. “Tonto” - Battles [zShare Link]
08. “Re-Up Anthem” (Nick Catchdubs Remix) - Clipse [zShare Link]
09. “Hot Knives” - Bright Eyes [Alternate Link]
10. “My Life’s Alright With You” - No Age [Alternate Link]

Okay, I know this is kind of Derek’s territory… but these were my favorite music videos of the year:

VIDEO: “Burn My Shadow” - Unkle [YouTube]
I’m usually not that into videos that incorporate sound other than the song being promoted (with a few exceptions, like that Metallica video with a stripper). UNKLE videos are pretty much always good, because they’re like compelling short films set to music - those types don’t come around too often.

VIDEO: “Roy Rules” - Andy Samberg [YouTube]
As far as I’m concerned, this is a real song. “Roy Rules” is a real song that gets stuck in my head really often. I’m not about to go on an “SNL sucks” diatribe (I’m in no mood to reinstate the obvious - OH, SNAP). But seriously, I think this video is really funny. Way funnier than that Iran song bullshit. BONUS: Whoever can name what else “Roy” has been in may be my new boyfriend (some - okay, many - exceptions apply).

VIDEO: “Been There All The Time” - Dinosaur Jr. [YouTube]
Matt Dillon directed this music video - reason enough! Okay, seriously, the low-angle shots of Mascis are mildly unsettling, but I still like the video’s concept. If I understand correctly, Coco Gordon-Moore and her buddies are jamming, and then they turn into Dinosaur Jr. after they’re prompted by Coco’s father to play “that new” Dinosaur Jr. song. Oh, and Thurston sounds like such a dad when he goes “eyyyyy! Whoawhoawhoawhoahoa!” at 13 seconds.

VIDEO: “Sensual Seduction” - Snoop Dogg [YouTube]
I don’t think this requires an explanation.

VIDEO: “Mr. Right” - Mickey Avalon [YouTube]
His schtick is pretty boring already, and if I hear that Boost Mobile song one more time, I will actually foam at the mouth (in a bad way). I like this video though, because it reminds me of when I went to New York Film Academy in 11th grade and tried to make really serious “films” about suicide and shit… and they’re really laughable in retrospect. I’m still trying to figure out if the director possessed a similar sense of irony.

VIDEO: “Nessun Dorma” - Paul Potts [YouTube]
Okay, Paul Potts is SO WEIRD AND GIFTED. I so badly want to be like “GROSS! CHOMPERS!” but I can’t, because he’s so talented and he’s got such a good name. This is his entire underdog story, in under five minutes. Watch him charm Simon, and then wonder what you’ve done with YOUR life.

FAVORITE MUSIC MADE BY MY FRIENDS
MP3: “I Want You To Violate Me” - Naughty [zShare Link]
MP3: “I Got Your Panties” - Naughty [zShare Link]
This is my friend Sheff-Dawg’s 80’s hair metal band. They’re a lot like Chromeo in that they take their art SUPER seriously - this song is too good to just be passed off as a joke. It will be in your head for days, and you’ll seduce yourself to it.

MP3: “First Tent Reprise” (Vocal Edit) - Jacques Pleasurecruise [zShare Link]
This is a song by my best friend’s alias. He’s so good at everything that I kind of wonder why he humors me - he was even a Do! (recognize him now, ladies?). This song is really short, but it’s really fun to listen to on repeat, and I like the lyrics.

Okay, I’m kind of over music now here are some other favorite things…

FAVORITE YOUTUBE VIDEO: Black Cougar
This was probably my favorite video on Youtube from this year. Not racist, but when I hear the words “Black Cougar,” people like Halle Berry come to mind. But this video has nothing to do with her.

FAVORITE PHONE CONVERSATION: Pothead Cop
This isn’t a video, and it’s a little long-ish, but it’s a phone conversation between a 911 operator and a man who is in the middle of a marijuana “overdose” yielded from brownies. I found this really hilarious and quotable (”I think we’re dead,” “time is going by really, really, really slow”)
until I remembered that time I was in a similar predicament.

FAVORITE TV MOMENT IN 2007: Rosie and Elisabeth
Okay, I saw this happen LIVE, and I was so grateful for being on my couch at that very moment in time. The stars aligned, and it was SO FUCKING DEEP. Just watch Joy Behar’s face, watch the fake segue to a commercial break. I shed a tear for the Writers Strike every day, but this was further proof that the best television needs no script. Rosie and Elisabeth are vocal and passionate about their political ideologies, and I guess this is what happens when politics gets personal. I could use some lessons for the coming months.

I saw some movies this year too, like Stomp The Yard (on HBO). I don’t know if I can comment on that movie because it was really hard for me to suspend my reality about these grown men who take dancing very seriously and stick out their tongues for “flair.” Other than that, I think Sicko and Superbad were my favorite movies of the year. I’m losing my health insurance in May, and despite its biases, Michael Moore’s documentary made me realize how fucked up that is. I also liked how he explained how mediated our realities are (why we’re hardwired to hate France, Cuba)… ANYWAY. Superbad was SO good because I am Evan. Oh, and my mother made me see La Vie en Rose and I cried like a newborn the whole fucking time, so I guess I liked it for reminding me that I’m not heartless.

Special Thanks for also making my 2007 very good:
- Thank you, the two German men at Lorelei who changed me and Derek’s lives forever.
- Thank you, “Gossip Girl,” for being so entertaining.
- Thank you, “The Pick-Up Artist” for teaching me everything I need to know about men.
- Thank you, Dirty Salt and Vinegar chips for being a delicious snack product.
- Thank you, writers strike for making me miss “The Late Show With David Letterman” so much that thinking about it makes me cry (AND FOR COMING BACK IN 2008!).
- Thank you, college for kind of letting me finish college early.
- Thank you, Tiffany from “Rock Of Love” for declaring, “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
- Thank you, fair readers for sometimes reading this.

HELLO!

It’s been forever, I know, but don’t hate me - it was DEREK who kept us apart! But I digress… anyway, as all zero of you probably know, I’m a little obsessed with Beck. I’ve been for a really long time (like, since I was 11), but then The Information came out. The first time I heard “Timebomb,” it was as if Beck called me and was like, “Hey, Rya… sorry I dropped such a mediocre album last year. I made this new song just for you and I hope you dance by yourself to it in your room and listen to it on repeat all the fucking time.” I can’t really put a finger on what “era” of Beck’s music this most resembles, but that’s not a bad thing; at long last, he’s moved towards a more palatable (listenable?) musical direction. Oh, it also sounds a little bit like “North American Scum,” but about 19 squillion times better - I think it’s the lady back-up singers that made me draw the parallel. Basically, if this song doesn’t rise to the top of your play counter on your iTunes within the first 12 hours you’ve had it, I will buy you a drink (an alcoholic one, because I’m legal).

MP3: “Timebomb” - Beck

While I’m at it, I’ll throw in another Beck song I love. I don’t necessarily get down to “Deadweight,” but this is an ideal song for doing things around the house; you could listen to this and clean dishes, do homework, whatever you do in the comforts of your own home - I don’t judge. Anyway, you might think that zipping sound in the background sounds like the title track off Pet Sounds, and that’s because… well… it sounds a lot like the title track off Pet Sounds. This song is from the soundtrack to “A Life Less Ordinary,” and features a music video that’s actually better than the movie it was inspired by.

MP3: “Deadweight” - Beck

If you’re not a fan of Bruce Springsteen’s, honestly, I can do without your readership. He’s been dubbed “The Boss” because he’s the authority on how to be cool, but not in that Justin Timberlake way. Let’s put it this way, Bruce Springsteen is America’s cool Dad, the one all the other kids are jealous of. Bruce is relatable, and all of his songs sound less like masterpieces of some fancy computer program, and more like a hug. While his new album, Magic, doesn’t come out until October 2nd, its first single, “Radio Nowhere” was recently released. To be real, I’m not IN LOVE with this song, but you know what? It’s better than a lot of stuff I’ve heard recently. It’s very catchy and I guess is about something mildly more substantial than a recovering meth addict’s penchant for being “flossy”. Maybe it’s because I saw The 40 Year Old Virgin the other day, but this song kind of reminds me of “The Heat of the Moment” - way upbeat. I guess the verdict is, don’t let this be your first Springsteen song - your “primer” of sorts - but if you’re already a fan, it’ll probably be put into light rotation.

MP3: “Radio Nowhere” - Bruce Springsteen

My favorite Springsteen song? I thought you’d never ask!

When I hear “No Surrender,” it’s like all my buddies magically appear out of nowhere and we’re whisked away to a karaoke bar. This is the soundtrack to nostalgia and best friendship. Like any other song of his, “No Surrender” features the exquisite instrumentation of Silvio Dante and Conan O’Brien’s bandleader - Springsteen’s so relevant!

MP3: “No Surrender” - Bruce Springsteen

Moving along… on Thursday evening, I had the esteemed privilege of meeting Karim Fonda of my second favorite trio of upper-middle-class rapping white kids from NYC, Team Facelift. It was, in a word, a moving experience. Whenever I see the video for their song, “Sexual Perversions,” my pride for being from Manhattan reaches uncharted levels. I’m not saying I wish I was the fruit-encrusted model, or the bare-posteriored young lady in this video - but I will say that I’d do morally questionable things for them on film… if it helped their art. You’re more than welcome to watch the extremely sexy and extremely technicolor video, as it is really enjoyable to watch. Or, if you’re anything like me, you can close your eyes and imagine you’re listening to it while lounging in the Poconos, in one of those bathtubs that looks like a champagne glass, while holding a Valentine’s Day teddy bear in one hand, and caressing a blunt the size of a baby’s leg in the other… you know, something romantic and classy. Sadly, we’re gonna have to go YouTube on this one. Deal with it.

And finally, because I just love musical dudes, it’s only fair to discuss musical dudes who love(d) me. I first got to know Locksley when I was a nubile senior in high school and they played a matinée show with my friends’ band (long live Notes From Underground!). They were SUPER nice guys, and I’ll leave out the rest. Now they’re famous and I had the privilege/shame of buying a song about myself on iTunes. I don’t know if I can really say anything else about this song without sounding narcissistic, but you know what? It’s a really great song - the last 30 seconds are especially epic. Oh, and here’s the song FOR FREE.

MP3: “My Kind of Lover” - Locksley

ALSO, Derek’s step-brother’s record came out today and Pitchfork loves it (Best New Music, even!) so you should too. You’ll find one of it’s best cuts below. Oh, and some trivia: Les Savy Fav were Bloc Party’s biggest influence during their early days as a band. Fact! Vice is also currently beta-testing this new “Virtual Lower East Side” thing, where they have bands “virtually” hanging out to “virtually” kick it with you or something. Neither Derek nor I totally understand it, but if that sounds like the kind of thing you’d be interested in, be sure to register and stop by tomorrow night when Syd and Harrison will be chilling in the virtual Bowery Ballroom. There will however be a screening of the band’s last Bowery show from last spring, so that’s reason enough alone to stop by.

MP3: “The Year Before The Year 2000″ - Les Savy Fav

That’s about it for now, I promise I won’t leave you guys again. Unless you want me to - in which case, I fully understand.

Well if it isn’t… while Derek is having the “time of his fucking life” across the pond, I’m having an extremely classy time on these shores enjoying my last summer before I have “real world” worries. But enough about me, I’ve been teeming with things to tell you.

The first time I saw Holy Fuck was when they opened for Wolf Parade last April, and I left the venue a changed woman. They’re a Canadian experimental band based around the aesthetic of playing damn near anything they can get their hands on – like film editing equipment… obviously. Everything except computers, that is. This is really hard to believe once you hear them, because they achieve the same sound as many of their digital counterparts. There’s a spontaneous quality about their songs; I never thought I’d say this in a complimentary way, but it’s almost like listening to them jam because of their ensemble recordings, and because they’ve been known to tout their lack of rehearsal.

A few months ago, they played with my beloved Clinic – it was a lineup so perfect I almost thought the world was pulling my leg. But it wasn’t, and one of the last songs they played during their loud, outstanding set was “Lovely Allen” off their new EP. It’s not a “typical” song of theirs, however, it’s got a really striking, full sound. I liken it to the sound of climbing a really high mountain – literally or figuratively. Accomplishment, yeah?

MP3: “Lovely Allen” - Holy Fuck (ed.’s note: this song is very amazing)

Maybe I’m just a really big fan of “Tone Bank Jungle” because it’s the opener to the band’s 2005 self-titled debut, but I never grow tired of listening to it. I find a lot of “jams” and really drawn-out solos intolerable because like I’ve said before, I just haven’t got the patience for them. However, there are so many new, interesting sounds sporadically placed throughout that I can’t wait to hear what’s next. I suppose this is the sonic version of “shiny objects,” but I’ll have you hear for yourself.

MP3: “Tone Bank Jungle” - Holy Fuck

Like any good Jewish girl worth her weight in hair irons and leggings, I’m a natural at entertaining (in the sense that I like to have people over to eat cupcakes, not like, in a stand-up way). Thus, I know for a fact that any Eels album is the perfect soundtrack for your next get-together. “Friendly Ghost” of 2001’s Souljacker is one of my favorite songs by him. The first line of the song is “if you’re scared to die, you better not be scared to live.” If I were really edgy and thirstin’ to do something totally classy, I’d get that inked on my lower back (that was sarcasm… I don’t know if that translates well in cyberspace).

MP3: “Friendly Ghost” - Eels

Derek happens to be a fan of “Fresh Feeling,” also off Souljacker. While I won’t deny that I’m a big fan of this song, I once read or heard an interview with E where he talks about what inspired him to write the song. He was inspired by “feminine hygiene products.” At long last… a song (literally) about douchebags!

MP3: “Fresh Feeling” - Eels

The lead singer, E’s, voice is soothing and reminiscent of that teacher you had in grammar school who you thought was so cool at the time, but in retrospect you realize he was just a stoner who really did enjoy finger painting amongst five-year-olds. Last year, they released Eels With Strings: Live At Town Hall, recorded in my native land of Manhattan. One of my favorite songs on the album is their cover of The Left Banke’s “Pretty Ballerina.”

MP3: “Pretty Ballerina” - Eels

But who are The Left Banke?, you may inquire. Well, they were a 1960’s pop group that hasn’t got one fucking album in print (seriously, if Other Music doesn’t carry anything of theirs, then nobody does). However, because Derek is a precious stone amongst pebbles, he found their entire LP, Walk Away Renee/Pretty Ballerina. It’s a simple, perfect album with layered vocals and strings that inspired a myriad of artists in its wake (trivia: Noel Gallagher wants to record a tribute album). So, prepare to be the coolest person you know when you search “pretty” in your iTunes and this song pops up.

MP3: “Pretty Ballerina” - The Left Banke

Of course, when I search for the word “pretty” in my iTunes, another perfect, not so simple, song pops up: “Pretty Noose” by Soundgarden. You can make fun of me all you want, but this is my column, and if I get one more person to listen to this band, I’ve succeeded. This song takes me back to when I was like, 11 and Jim Carrey was hosting Saturday Night Live with Soundgarden as the musical guest. All my friends were so pumped to see the Cable Guy do that lame head-jerking sketch, but all I cared about was seeing the extremely foine Chris Cornell wail through “Pretty Noose” and “Burden In My Hand.” I guess it’s worth noting that Derek is not at all thrilled with me posting Soundgarden, but that’s his loss.

MP3: “Pretty Noose” - Soundgarden

This week’s video comes from a band with perhaps the worst name… ever. If I were that big an asshole and judged bands solely by what they call themselves (and at many times, I am that big an asshole), I’d completely disregard this British quad. Unfortunately – or fortunately – I can’t hate on this so easily for a lot of reasons; namely, my extremely sexy, extremely disease-free, extremely talented cousin, Lauren, worked on Shitdisco’s video for “OK.”

Video: “OK” - ShitDisco
Director: Price James
Watch: [YouTube]
Download: [Quicktime • 21 MB]

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a video with a concept even remotely similar to this before. Basically, the band is performing through a set of hands manipulating their faces in a pop-up book. A fucking pop-up book. Yeah, I’ll have what they’re having, too. In all honesty, the only part of the song I really like is the chorus because the lead singer’s voice sounds a little too much like David Gahan’s for my liking… and maybe it’s because I was raised in the fashion industry, but I’ve got a problem with some knockoffs. That said, Derek would like you to know (as in, Derek is typing this sentence) that he finds the band’s “Reactor Party” to be quite awesome and that those “dah-dah-dah-dah-dahs” have been known to get him all kinds of hot and bothered.

MP3s:
“OK” - ShitDisco
“Reactor Party” - ShitDisco

On the other hand, my filthy friend, Kramer, sent me this video. I guess you can say it’s a music video and therefore relevant enough to be in this column. If your, among other things, heart isn’t totally warmed at the sight of all two feet and nine inches of Weng Weng, you might want to do some re-evaluating. Trust me, I’m always the first person to brush off some YouTube clip as bullshit, but I kind of want to dedicate art to this.

Watch: [YouTube]

Alright, that’s enough out of me for now. Coming up next week: MY FIRST MIX! No, I’m not going to spoil the surprise and tell you the theme. In the meantime, keep it sophisticated.

I’m currently having the time of my fucking life at the Great Escape in Brighton (and yes, I have found a place to stay), so to tide you over until I’m able to post my full recap of my weekend, here’s the latest installment of She’s In Control from the ever-lovely Rya Backer.

Hello again, my fair doyens and doyennes of cyberspace! I hope you’ve been well this past week as I’ve been just itching for your digital company once more.

I’m crazy for Queens Of The Stone Age. When I lived in Boston, they played a “guerilla” show at Newbury Comics and even though doors didn’t open until 8:00 pm, I started waiting for a wristband at 3:30 that afternoon! It was so worth it; all 19 feet of Josh Homme passed his bottle of rum for the cramped audience to share, and I got to hear relatively acoustic versions of nearly all my favorite songs while pretending to make eye contact with the ginger-headed singer himself. When Derek sent me leaked songs from QOTSA’s new album, “Era Vulgaris,” I damn near slipped into a happiness-induced coma. Once again, it was worth the wait.

Derek’s not the biggest fan of QOTSA, and I’m well aware that they’re an acquired taste. Because you’re wondering, I think they’re a great band that consistently puts out great albums (usually with several fancy cameos) that are meant to play really loudly, and put on an even fancier live show. I’d rather not ruminate over all the songs (seriously, it could be a while), but here are my two cents on the tracks:

I played “3’s & 7’s” for my niece and nephew, because their ears are relatively virginal to all things loud and rocking. My four-year-old niece explained that the song made her want to “do splits and cartwheels,” and my seven-year-old nephew screamed that the song was making him “go crazy!!!” (in a good way). So, there you have it: may the splits, cartwheels, and craziness ensue… But seriously, I predict it will be the “Go With The Flow” of this album as there isn’t one element of this song that isn’t catchy.

MP3: “3’s & 7’s” - Queens of the Stone Age

“Sick, Sick, Sick” is the first single off the album. It features a fancy cameo by Julian Casablancas, however, it’s pretty blink (close your ears?) and you’ll miss it. I’m crazy about this song because QOTSA always speed up their songs live, and I can’t even imagine how much faster this can go… oh, but how I salivate at the very notion.

MP3: “Sick, Sick, Sick” - Queens of the Stone Age

My favorite QOTSA song ever is a B-side called “Infinity”, which can be found on the soundtrack for “Heavy Metal 2000″ (the edgiest title ever) and on the Japan-only release of Lullabies To Paralyze. This is my go-to song whenever I need to get totally fucking pumped. Just listen to those drums! The guitar at the end! There’s something very sexy about this song, but what do I know?

MP3: “Infinity” - Queens of the Stone Age

Mark Lanegan is the former lead singer of Screaming Trees and pretty much an honorary member of QOTSA. He’s quite a legend in his own right (trivia: he inspired Kurt Cobain to cover “Where Did You Sleep Last Night?” on Nirvana’s episode of “Unplugged”), and has this very Tom Waits-esque, gravelly voice. One of my favorite songs of his is “Methamphetamine Blues” off 2004’s Bubblegum. Josh Homme plays guitar on this track.

MP3: “Methamphetamine Blues” - Mark Lanegan Band

Speaking of amazing live bands, seeing LCD Soundsystem in the flesh is… in a word: religious. I’ve yet to see the new lineup featuring Hot Chip’s very own Al Doyle, but I digress… I’m here to talk about his new single, “All My Friends,” off his new album that’s so good I needn’t fast-forward through any of the tracks, “Sound Of Silver.” I really like this song because it’s like a seven-ish-minute-long coming-of-age-fest (“I wouldn’t trade one stupid decision for another five years of life”… deep!). Meaning, yeah? Unfortunately, I’ve been afflicted with the attention span of a fetus, so I have trouble sitting through the song’s first four-and-a-half minutes, which are pretty morose in comparison to how into-it James Murphy gets by the song’s end. Thus, I present to you the radio edit; consider it the “Cliffs Notes” version of the real deal.

MP3: “All My Friends” (Radio Edit) - LCD Soundsystem

Also, one of my favorite guilty pleasures, Franz Ferdinand has recorded an abbreviated version of the song (as has the Velvet Underground’s John Cale). Theirs sounds exactly like how you’d expect for it to sound: Alex Kapranos’s extremely sexy voice with guitar-driven danceable instrumentals. That’s not to say it’s a bad listen, in fact, if any of you are gym-goers, this track will probably end up on your like, “Treadmill Mix Vol. 29” or something. The ending is nothing like that of the original (ooooh, spoiler!), and I feel like it’s something you can be either be totally nuts about or detest … I’m siding with the former.

MP3: “All My Friends” - Franz Ferdinand

I’ve been reminded several times in the comments that I am, indeed, of the female persuasion (more nudes on the way, you fleshthirsty gents!). So, the least I can do is recommend a song for the female readers – an estrogen-rich track that’s just perfect for hair braiding and getting stoned (uhm… I mean, watching “Saved By The Bell” re-runs!) with the gals.

“Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time,” from Jarvis Cocker’s new album, Jarvis, is a sonic kick in the pants. It’s like Jarvis himself is reminding me how much of my life I’ve pissed away on totally shortsighted douchebags. But that’s for another blog.

MP3: “Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time” - Jarvis

He’d initially written the song for Nancy Sinatra, and I quite like this version as well… pending on what time of the month it is (oooh! Lady humor! I went there!).

MP3: “Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time” - Nancy Sinatra

One of my favorite things in the world is a good music video. Derek and I have been known to talk about and watch these promotional vehicles for extremely long spans of time. So it’d be only right for me to include a video review on the weekly.

Sometimes, I cry out for Chappelle’s Show in the middle of the night. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact that there will never be a new episode ever again, and I double don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact that one of the greatest phrases ever said on that show went completely overlooked. In the classic “Racial Draft” sketch, when my beloved Wu-Tang Clan was taken under the wing of the Asians, Gza declared, “Konichiwa, bitches!” as a salutation to his new brethren. Be still my beating heart, for that was an epic line. At long last, Robyn has immortalized the saying in her song of the same name. I was totally obsessed with this song like two years ago, namely because it’s got some of the filthiest lyrics this side of Lil’ Kim. Basically, the track is an extremely danceable big-up to herself. But again, I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to talk about the 10-gallon mindfuck that is the new video for the song.

MP3s:
“Konichiwa Bitches” - Robyn
“Close To Konichiwa” - The Cure vs Robyn

Here’s a brief rundown of the video, in which Robyn:
- Talks to a monkey about a beat she wants.
- Boxes a man in a kangaroo suit.
- Turns into a silver microphone.
- Toilet papers aforementioned man in monkey suit and stuffs him in her trunk.

Okay, please watch it already. Robyn, I wish I’d “shown you love” sooner.
Video: “Konichiwa Bitches”
Artist: Robyn
Director: Fredrik Skogkvist
Watch: [YouTube]
Download: [Quicktime • 52 MB]

So, I hope that holds you over for another week. I miss you all already, and let’s go Mets.

Greetings, citizens of the Blogosphere (errr… readers)!

I’m Rya (21/F/NYC… that’s how you kids talk, right?), Derek’s friend, classmate, and former co-intern at Vice. Every week, I will grace you with a new edition of Rya’s Romantic Review (Ed’s note: we are definitely not calling this that) where I use this little cyber soapbox to talk about music I (wait for it…) love! Derek asked me to write this column because I really like music, but my taste tends to diverge from Derek’s a good bit at times. If I had to put my finger on my favorite music genre… well, I couldn’t, because that’d be lame. So, I really hope you like this or else it’s back to the streets for me.

I’ve just received a radio-rip of Interpol’s new single, “The Heinrich Maneuver.” Please take this with a grain of salt as I know I’m physically and emotionally incapable of creating music any better. However, I feel the same way about this song as I do for orange juice: if it’s in my fridge, I’ll take some, but if it’s not, I’m not going to be all that disappointed.

The thing is, I really like Interpol. Back when I was young and hip and had my ear to the ground, I purchased Turn On The Bright Lights the day it came out. Enjoyable story: on the day of my senior prom, I happened to see none other than Daniel Kessler on the street (in typical, all-black, fancy Interpol garb, mind you), and I asked him to be my arm candy for the evening’s festivities. He said no, but you can’t hold a grudge forever. Hold on, let me pick up that name I just dropped… anyway, the point is I’ve waited long enough for this album and I don’t really hear anything new.

A friend once sent me this link that played two Nickelback songs at the same time and they turned out to have the SAME fucking song structure but different (beautiful, duh) lyrics and chords. While “The Heinrich Maneuver” isn’t a carbon-copy of the rest of their repertoire, it comes pretty close (what’s up, “Slow Hands”?). I guess my verdict is that it’s pretty harmless; I can already see it being played on shows that my fellow females might congregate to watch in the common room of a dorm - which is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just that unlike such gems as “The Specialist” and “Roland” where I have to stop whatever I’m doing when they’re being played, “The Heimlich Maneuver” is background music. To be fair, the vocal harmonies are a pleasure and a joy to listen to, but there’s not much else here. I’ll keep you posted if the rest of this song ever grows on me.

MP3: “The Heinrich Maneuver” (Radio Rip) - Interpol

My first favorite album of all time was Odelay by Beck and I listened to nothing but that album for over a year. It got to the point where I listened to it so much that I wore it out and had to spend my allowance to go to the Sam Goody on 61st and 3rd (now inhabited by Dylan’s Candy Bar) to get another copy (on cassette, of course). If I had a penny for every time I listened to this during my formative years I’d be too busy diving into my pool full of Cristal wearing a bikini made of unicorn hair and diamonds to write this. That entire album spoke to me, but “The New Pollution” was something else. I brought that song in as my “show and tell” song in sixth grade. My printer was broken so I had to handwrite the lyrics, and this was before song lyrics were online, so I thought I knew the words by heart, but I wasn’t positive so the whole thing was riddled with question marks. But the point is, when I played that song in class, everyone thought I was the biggest loser ever because, you know, it wasn’t Ace of Bass or whatever sixth graders were listening to at the time. But Beck and “The New Pollution” taught me that it was okay not to care if people thought I was totally lame for listening to something that wasn’t force fed to me on z100. In a lot of ways, I was alone in my own, prepubescent new pollution, and I knew I’d turn out just fine. How deep, I know.

MP3: “The New Pollution” - Beck

Up until The Information, I would’ve considered myself a Beck Superfan, and I’m a little too well-versed in his catalogue. “Minus” is one of my favorite songs ever because, well, it gets me really pumped. In retrospect, I don’t know how my lanky body never suffered from any form of whiplash when I’d head bang to this track all by my lonesome at the ripe age of 10.

MP3: “Minus” - Beck

Beck sampled my beloved Beastie Boys’ drum track from “So Watcha Want?” in “E-Pro” off his 2005 release, Guero. Obviously, a mash-up had to be made, and this one’s actually prett-ay, prett-ay, great.

MP3: “So Whatcha E-Pro?” - DJ Erb (Beastie Boys vs Beck)

What would a romantic review be without a love letter? I harbor crushes on many a musician, but Chromeo’s Dave 1 ranks very high on my list of Unattainable Love Interests. I thought I could best express my adoration for their new track, “Fancy Footwork,” in an open letter to the man himself.

Dear Dave 1,

I remember the time you came into the Vice office and I had to leave to get an iced beverage not only because your presence added 100,000 degrees (Celsius!) to the already scorching room, but because I knew I’d do something extremely embarrassing if I stayed within the same confines. It’s not just your good looks, your delicate mustache, your candidacy for a PhD, and the fact that you’re a Semite that I’m extremely attracted to you.

You’re also very talented.

It goes without saying that She’s In Control was an extremely enjoyable album - a pleasure and a joy to listen to. When my friend, Webmaster Derek Davies, sent the Fancy Footwork EP my way, the songs were, in a word, tasteful. I was especially taken however, by the eponymous track (the original, classic version).

MP3: “Fancy Footwork” - Chromeo

There’s really nothing wrong with this track – it’s a real rug-cutter, you know? I need to show off my fancy footwork when this song blares through my iHome (the world’s shittiest joke of electronic equipment ever… but I digress). I love your slight accent. At least I think you’ve got an accent, the point is your diction is way sexy - especially that moment at 1:59 when you casually go “eyyy!”… melt my heart a little more, why don’t you? I extra love that beat, those synths, and I know I just spoke volumes about the angelic timbre that is your voice, but I could really enjoy an instrumental version of this song. I’d play it at all my cocktail and tea parties (I’m extremely sophisticated, Dave 1… or do you prefer Mr. Macklovitch?). I no longer work at the magazine that supports your record label, but I do pray that our paths cross sometime in the not-so-distant future. In all likelihood, it will be when I pay to be in your company to hear this song live.

Love (or should I say… amour),
Rya

Speaking of Chromeo, fancy footwork and rug-cutting in general, my friend Nick made this and well, I suppose it speaks for itself.

That’s enough out of me for now. I really hope you enjoyed our time together because I have a lot more to talk about, and I have all the time in the world. Please leave me feedback, but don’t be a dick, okay?